The Beauty of Modesty

The following is an article by Katrina Cheshire, a 23 year old girl. You will love your young girls to read it too.

 

THE BEAUTY OF MODESTY

“Strength and honor are her clothing” (Proverbs 31:25).

I was 16 years old when a little girl at our church asked me what the word “modesty” meant. I had to stop and think about a definition. The idea of modesty was deeply ingrained in me, but I’d never tried to define it to someone!

Our culture has taken a deep dive down the drain of immodesty. It’s no surprise that the world promotes women dressing scantily. What’s a lot harder to understand is why so many Christian women dress just like the world! We, of all women, should be setting an example, especially women in positions of leadership. Sadly, I’ve even seen pastor’s wives among the most scantily dressed in their congregation.

As the second oldest of eight children, five boys and three girls, I’ve been exceedingly blessed to have a mom who has taught my sisters and I not only to be modest but also WHY modesty is so important. She has held us to a high standard and I’m eternally grateful for it.

In the old days, a woman who dressed or acted immodestly was never considered ladylike. In the current age we live in, however, women dress however they want, mistakenly think they’re being ladylike, and yet still demand the respect of men. To top it off, they then BLAME men for not guarding their eyes!

I want to share with you some eye-opening facts I recently read, and I hope you will consider them with an open mind and heart.

Did you know that the bikini was created in 1946 in France, and it was considered so scandalous that the designer had to hire a stripper to model it? None of the models would touch it. Our culture has certainly changed since then, and sadly, so has the church.

Here’s what I really want to talk about, ladies. A study was done at Princeton University a number of years ago on the male brain. Here’s what the study showed: when men were shown pictures of scantily-clad women, some of the men showed zero activity in the medial prefrontal cortex of their brain. This is the part of a brain that shows activity when someone is considering another person’s thoughts, feelings, and intentions. It was a shocking revelation, because this almost NEVER happens in the brain.

But wearing very little clothes can make this happen. Dressing immodestly causes a man to look at you as an object. Whether he realizes it or not, he ceases to see you as a thinking, feeling human being, and instead sees you as something to be used. He reacts to you like you’re not fully human and that is one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard. This reaction isn’t necessarily men’s fault; God wired their brains this way. It is women who are choosing to dress this way.

I’ve heard far too many women, even Christian women, argue that men should guard their eyes and that it’s not women’s problem. I agree that men need to guard their eyes, but I don’t agree that it’s not women’s problem. Maybe having five brothers has something to do with my perspective on this. When my poor brothers can’t even look where they’re going because of the display of skin around them (even in the church!), it IS women’s problem.

I wish every young girl and woman could read the information above, because I think if girls and women actually understood what they’re doing when they dress immodestly, they might stop.

Many people will argue that modesty is a matter of personal opinion. I both agree and disagree. I definitely agree that there is room for expression and personal conviction! Also keep in mind that a whole lot depends on your attitude and HOW you are wearing your clothing. However, I cannot agree with women who claim that modesty is a matter of opinion and then go on to claim that they think a bikini is modest (yes, I’ve actually heard this!) By those standards, you’re jumping straight from wearing absolutely nothing to underwear equaling modesty. Doesn’t there have to be some in-between?

I was reading Proverbs 31 recently, that beautiful passage about womanhood, and one verse jumped out at me: verse 12. “She does him (her husband) good and not evil, all the days of her life.” I’ve known this verse for many years but something new struck me this time. The verse doesn’t say “She does him good and not evil after they’re married.” No, it says all the days of her life.

If you are married, you should be dressing modestly to honor your husband. But even if you aren’t married yet, I think this verse has a lot to say about how you should be acting and dressing. Is it honoring your future husband to be dressing skimpily? How could that honor him? Don’t you think he’ll be blessed one day in the knowledge that you dressed and behaved modestly before you even met him?

This article isn’t meant to be depressing! In fact, dressing modestly is one of the most exciting things you can do! And, contrary to popular opinion, it does NOT mean you have to dress in plain, dull, unflattering clothing.

As a seamstress and fashion designer, one of my greatest joys in life is creating beautiful, modest clothing! You don’t have to spend a lot of money on beautiful clothes. Many of my creations are made out of refurbished sheets and curtains. I love the challenge of taking something old and worn and turning it into a totally new, delightful creation!

Proverbs 31:21-22 says: “She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed in scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.” These verses show a quality of dressing that can’t be interpreted as anything other than beautiful! This woman is well dressed and brings honor to her husband and family by her appearance and demeanor.

It is possible to thrift clothing, swap clothing with friends, look for discounts and deals, and still have a beautiful, unique, modest wardrobe. There is SO MUCH JOY in dressing beautifully! God created women to love beauty. Don’t ever feel like dressing modestly is holding you back or stifling you. In fact, I think the exact opposite is true. When you rest securely in the knowledge that you are loved by God, you’ll feel the freedom to step away from the trends of the world and dress like God’s daughter should. There is no greater self-confidence than living by God’s standards.

We’re not supposed to be like the world. We should absolutely stand out in the way we dress and act. There’s a famous quote attributed to St. Francis of Assisi: “Preach the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words.” While I think we should always be ready to share the gospel, the way you dress, and act could either further or hinder the message of the gospel that you carry! You may be the only Bible some people ever read. Do you want a man to only look at your body instead of the light of Jesus that you carry within you?

Remember that no matter your age, there are always younger women watching your example and copying your actions. Even if you are only ten years old, there is a seven-year-old who is looking up to you and watching what you wear, say, and do.

I’m going to admit, it’s not always easy. There are days when I wish I could wear a certain piece of clothing, or I sew something, and it ends up too short. My sisters and I are tall, so the struggle to find dresses that are long enough is hard. It’s easy to look at the world and feel a desire to fit in.

But someday, when you’re 80 years old, will you look back and wish that you had dressed more immodestly? Or will you wish that you had honored God and respected yourself and those around you by dressing like a princess in royal and modest garments?

To every beautiful young girl out there, take my word for it: you’ll be glad someday that you dressed modestly! To every mother, remember that your daughters are always watching you. YOU are the biggest influence on how they dress and act. And to every husband, father, and brother, let the women in your life know that you appreciate their modesty! Or, if necessary, let them know that you DON’T appreciate their immodesty. We’re listening to what you have to say.

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30).

KATRINA CHESHIRE

 

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